Romantic relationships are complex and require continued dedication and work. It’s common and normal for relationships sometimes to have moments where things feel some degree of stress or strain. If you are struggling in your relationship and have tried without success to fix one or more problems, you may wonder if your relationship is fixable. While that is not a simple answer, many relationship problems have the potential to be fixed or solved if both people are willing and able to work towards a solution.
Before getting into the how, let’s talk about the why. It’s important to first look at and identify why things are feeling tense, stressful, or strained within your relationship. Many things can go wrong in relationships, and every relationship is unique. Take a minute and answer the following:
- What is happening in my relationship that is causing me to not like how things currently are?
- What feelings are coming up for me when I think about the problems in my relationship?
- How long have I felt this way about the relationship or my partner?
- Do I need more from my partner in areas of emotional support, effort, intimacy, sharing responsibility for tasks, or parenting?
- Have I communicated recently how I feel and what I need from my partner?
Once we are clear on what the specific problem(s) are and what we need from our partner, we can begin to identify how we plan to address this problem. It’s important that when considering if something in the relationship is fixable, we consider the following:
- Fixing things can’t be on you and you alone. If there are problems in a relationship, both people must be willing to address it and work towards a solution. Couples therapy can be a great place to do this with an unbiased third party trained in relationships.
- Having problems in a relationship can often be linked to at least one person’s unmet needs. Think about a problem you are encountering in a relationship. Are you needing something from the other person that you’re not getting? If so, what do you need to start feeling better in the relationship?
- Relationships can improve if you both want it to.
- Therapy can help, individually and together, through couple therapy.
- Not addressing issues as they arise is keeping your relationship in trouble. Communicating about issues openly and as soon as possible disrupts the process of repressing feelings, unmet needs, and resentment building.
While many issues are fixable, I understand that sometimes things can feel “too far gone”. Whether this is a new, ongoing, or anywhere in between, it’s important to seek support to help you navigate these challenges. There is truly no “right” answer when it comes to deciding if a relationship can be fixed or not. If you are in this place of uncertainty, unsure if things are fixable, contemplating separation or divorce, or just needing a space to work through these thoughts and feelings, reach out to me today. Let’s work together to help you figure out what you need and how to get those needs met.
