If you’re a mom like myself, you know that motherhood comes with so many changes, and I’m not just talking about the diapers. From what you think about, to daily activities, to increased responsibility, and even to your own identity, motherhood brings along with it significant changes.
Of course, change can be positive as well and most mothers will tell you that the changes that have come from motherhood are worth it because they have their baby/babies to show for it. But what if you’re finding it hard to keep your head above water and feel unhappy in this new phase of your life?
It’s extremely challenging to enjoy motherhood when there are endless responsibilities, minimal time for yourself, tantrums, loss of sleep, and endless things to worry or feel anxious about. And we also can’t forget how it changes relationships, can be socially isolating, and even can put strain on marriages and partnerships. If you’re finding that the mental and emotional stress of motherhood is making it feel hard to enjoy this phase of life, you are not alone.
Mothers across the world are feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, and unhappy. Why might that be? Here are some of the most common reasons I hear mother’s report feeling unhappy in motherhood (and feeling guilty about that too):
The mental load of motherhood is overwhelming
Let’s face it, your mind is likely constantly running from one task to the next, trying to plan things in advance, responsible for so many things, and feeling anxious about a lot of it.
Lack of necessary support
While raising a child doesn’t require a village, a mother sure can benefit from having one for herself. Motherhood can feel isolating and lonely at times, and not having people you can lean on, vent to, gain support from, or ask for help puts a lot of pressure on us mothers.
Unrealistic expectations
Expecting to be able to do it all, not need help from others, or feel happy without doing things for yourself, the list of unrealistic expectations is long.
Not focusing on themselves
So many women simply stop engaging in activities or hobbies that bring them joy once they become a mother, creating a stronger feeling of loss of identity.
The anxiety and worry are out of control
Motherhood naturally brings on new things to worry about, however too much anxiety and worry can negatively impact how enjoyable motherhood feels.
Their partner isn’t doing enough
Many women report that they are the primary caretakers of their family, despite potentially also working outside the home. This can create a lot of pressure on mothers and also on the parents’ relationship.
They are not asking for and accepting of help
So many times I hear women say they do not ask for or willingly accept help from others for a variety of reasons. While asking for help can be hard, not having help can make things much harder.
If you can relate to any of the above reasons mothers are feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and not enjoying motherhood, it’s time to start addressing it. I have helped many women gain support through therapy, learn ways to find enjoyment in motherhood, and stop feeling anxious, constantly stressed out, and unhappy. Reach out today for a free consultation to talk more about how motherhood is not feeling as enjoyable as you’d hoped and what we can do when working together to change that.
