If you’re like many of us, you know that family dynamics, especially with a partner’s family, can be tough to navigate. While there are so many positive stories out there about the beauty of blending families and in-laws, unfortunately, that is not everyone’s experience. From sharing time at the holidays, to different personal beliefs and boundary issues, there can be many reasons to find yourself upset or annoyed at your partner’s family. If your significant other’s family is currently driving you nuts, I see you, and you are not alone in this struggle.
As I mentioned, there are many reasons why they may be driving you nuts. Some of the most common reasons for this that I see are:
- Difference in values, beliefs, and traditions
- Lack of healthy boundaries
- Unrealistic expectations (from both sides)
- Unresolved hurt feelings
- Poor communication
- Challenges navigating difference of opinions
- Holidays and specifical events
- Individuals with unaddressed mental health or substance abuse concerns
Regardless of the reason(s) that your partner or significant other’s family may be driving you nuts, there are some things you can do to help you manage this. Of course, there is nothing that you can do to change another’s behavior or make someone do something they aren’t willing to do. Instead, the focus is on YOU and what you do to navigate and manage these feelings of annoyance and frustration.
If your partner’s family is driving you nuts, consider trying the following things:
- Step back and/or away from them to give yourself space to process and feel your feelings without their presence. Taking time away and for yourself can help you feel less triggered and begin to address these emotions.
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries. If one or more individuals are not respecting your boundaries, this can be frustrating. First, set the boundaries and let them know what they are. Then, maintain and reinforce those boundaries when issues arise.
- Work on your own communication. Bottling things up, being passive or passive-aggressive, or people pleasing is not the best way to communicate. Doing so can leave YOU frustrated and them completely unaware of what you’re actually feeling and needing in order to have a better relationship with them.
- Be open to trying new things, including traditions, holiday celebrations, or things with their family.
- Accept that people are who they are and being frustrated about that is only exhausting YOU, not them.
- Take care of yourself, do things that make YOU happy, and don’t do things you don’t want to do.
I know that all of these tips can sound easier on paper than they may actually feel in the moment. Start small. Pick one thing to try. And be sure to focus on yourself and what YOU need in order to feel less annoyed or frustrated by them. If you feel this is challenging and need more support, reach out to me. I have helped many women address these exact feelings of frustration and I am here and ready to help you do the same!
