If you are contemplating getting a divorce and don’t know if this is the right decision for you, keep reading. I know you didn’t just come to this way of thinking. I know it’s been building and becoming harder to ignore. No matter how long you’ve been thinking about it or what other people are saying to you, I see you, and I know that you did not come to this thought lightly.
Deciding whether or not to get divorced is a hard place to be. For many women, they think about leaving for many months and sometimes years before deciding to explore whether or not this is the right decision for them. The decision often also brings up a mixed bag of emotions: worry, anxiousness, fear, sadness, grief, uncertainty, anger, overwhelm, and much, much more. It can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions that change quickly and leave you feeling uncertain. If this is how you’re feeling, this is normal and you are not alone.
If you are wondering whether or not you should get divorced or separate from your partner, I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:
- What would make ME happy?
- Am I worried about other people’s happiness in this decision-making?
- What is keeping me from moving forward with this decision?
- Do I want to try couple counseling to try and work on things (if you haven’t already)?
- Am I holding out hope that my partner will change?
- Am I worried that I am making the wrong decision?
- Do I view divorce as a BAD thing?
- Are people being supportive of this decision or telling me that I should just “stick it out” or “make it work”?
- Am I worried about co-parenting/custody/losing time with my child(ren)?
- Is my relationship healthy and positive for my child(ren) to continue to be in the middle of?
- Am I feeling unsafe or that I could become unsafe if I said I wanted to leave?
- Do I need support to figure out what is the best thing for me and how to get my needs met?
While at times scary to think about, divorce is not a bad thing. It can bring new beginnings, safety, happiness, less anxiety and overwhelm, and a sense of healing and peace. It can also provide a better, safer and more stable environment, for you and your child(ren). While many women struggle to divorce because of children, children of divorce often grow up and report feeling that their parent’s divorce was actually better for all involved.
Whether you’re wondering if divorce is right for you, contemplating how to make your marriage work, or ready to separate, you are not making the wrong decision. There is no wrong decision here. Stay. Go. Work on things. Don’t. It’s all okay. I encourage you to instead ask yourself, “what is the BEST decision for me (and my child(ren)”). With that answer, you can’t go wrong.
If you are struggling with relationship problems, wondering if you should separate, or actively trying to navigate divorce, you do not have to go through this alone. I specialize in helping women just like you navigate all that this is bringing up and help you find what you’re missing and needing. Reach out today to learn how I can help.
