Experiencing loss is a life altering event. It forever changes what comes next in your life. Loss brings grief that can feel complex and deep. It is natural to experience lots of emotions when grieving, including sadness, anger, worry, loneliness, confusion, and depression to name a few. Grief is a life-long journey of missing someone. Symptoms and feelings often become easier to manage as time passes, although in those moments it can feel overwhelming and never ending. While the act of missing someone never gets easier, time often allows you to become more use to the emotions that come with grief, which for some can allow things to feel more manageable.
While there is no “cure” for grief, you can learn how to navigate it and the emotions it brings up. Learning to live with grief takes time, patience, and compassion. If you are struggling with grief and loss, there are helpful and unhelpful ways to cope with these emotions. It is important to use healthy and effective coping tools to assist you working through thoughts and feelings related to your loss. It is also equally important to avoid using unhealthy and ineffective coping tools that can create more stress and pain long-term.
Unhelpful coping tools to avoid when coping with grief:
- Avoiding feelings, pushing things down, and/or pretending you are “fine”
- Using alcohol and other chemical substances to “numb” your feelings
- Using anger as a justification for unhealthy behaviors
- Focusing on what you can’t control
- Staying stuck in what happened and refusing to be in the now
- Minimizing your feelings of grief
- Not talking about how you are feeling and what you are going through
Instead of using these unhealthy coping tools, you can use healthy and effective strategies to help you move through your grief.
Helpful coping tools for grief look like:
- Talking about your feelings openly and often
- Allowing yourself to feel a full range of emotions related to grief
- Sharing good memories that you have with the person you lost to others
- Engaging in activities that allow you to feel close/connected to the person you lost (visiting their burial site, going to places they enjoyed, and talking about them are a few examples)
- Journaling about your feelings
- Talking to a professional therapist or counselor for support
Grief is hard. It is complex and at times overwhelming. Grief is also manageable. If you use healthy coping tools like the suggestions above, it is possible to live with grief and still experience positive moments and feelings of joy. If you are struggling to cope with loss in your life and/or have been using unhealthy coping tools that are not proving effective, help is available. It could be beneficial to seek support from a licensed therapist to help you work through feelings of grief, learn healthier ways to cope, and have support during this difficult time. Reach out today to learn how I help women navigate life after loss and manage feelings of grief. You do not have to go through this alone.