If you are struggling and feeling frustrated at your child or children, you’ve come to the right place. Today I’m talking all about feeling frustrated and what to do about it.
First off, feeling frustrated at a child’s behavior is NORMAL. There is nothing wrong with you or your child if this is happening to you. As parents, we are experiencing our own stressors and emotions too, meaning we are not excluded from feeling frustrated. Parenting is incredibly challenging and trying to teach healthy behaviors, correct unhealthy behaviors, and navigate big emotions your child is experiencing can all feel overwhelming.
It can also naturally feel frustrating when your child is not listening, pushing back on your boundaries, continuing to engage in unwanted behaviors, or struggling to manage their own emotions. If you have or are currently feeling this way, this in no way means you are not doing a good job. Being frustrated at your child/ren has nothing to do with you being a “bad parent” or “not a good mom”. You are doing your best AND it’s still frustrating at times. Both of those things can be true at the same time.
If you are feeling frustrated, let’s talk about some healthy things YOU can do to manage your frustrations.
- First simply recognize your frustrations and acknowledge that you’ve started to feel this way in the moment. This is important to utilizing the remaining tips.
- Take a moment before responding to your child/ren and take a couple deep breaths, walk away (so long as everyone can stay safe), or put yourself in a brief time out to give yourself a moment to cool down and regulate your emotions. Not doing this makes it very challenging to regulate your responses.
- Zoom out of the situation briefly and try to look at it from your child’s point of view. Did they miss nap time? Are they unable to understand what you’re asking of them? Are they overstimulated? Are they engaging in boundary pushing which can often be developmentally appropriate? Are they tired? Are they hungry? Really try to see if you can identify what is happening in the moment that is causing their behavior and in turn causing your frustration.
- Manage your own expectations. If you are feeling frustrated, it could be due to your own expectations. For example, if you were expecting to get out of the house on time and everyone to cooperate but neither of those things happened, it can feel frustrating because your expectations were not met. It’s important to set LOW and realistic expectations to avoid unwanted feelings of frustration or disappointment.
- Try quiet time. If you are feeling frustrated and your child is not listening, try having a quiet time for everyone, including you. Separate, go to opposite corners/rooms, minimize noise and activities that may be overstimulating, and give everyone a minute or so to regroup.
- Take care of you. If you are stressed, overwhelmed, or frustrated, your energy is something that your child/ren will feed off of. It’s important to take care of you and manage your own needs and emotions to ensure you can work through frustrating and challenging situations when they arise.
- Seek help. It can be helpful to seek outside support to work on feelings of frustration, help you address stressors, and learn healthy coping tools. Seeking support through therapy or counseling can be incredibly helpful.
If you find yourself still stuck and unsure what to do after trying some of the suggestions above, reach out to Psychotherapy for Women today to learn how I help women and mothers cope with intense emotions and show up the way they want to in motherhood.
