Are you struggling in your relationship with your partner and feeling angry, hurt, or even unheard? Have you been feeling this way for some time and noticed that you now also feel resentful towards your partner? If so, you are not alone. Keep reading to learn where resentment comes from and how to address it.
Resentment is a very common emotion and can create significant barriers within relationships. It is also an extremely intense emotion that often blooms from other uncomfortable emotions that have been unaddressed or needs that have gone unmet. Common reasons that women feel resentment towards their partner includes:
- Unequal division of labor within relationships and families, including one person carrying more of the physical, emotional, or mental load within the relationship
- Feeling as if your life has changed once having children but not feeling as though your partner’s life has
- Unacknowledged or unmet needs
- Lack of time to engage in things you wish to or want to do but feeling your partner does not experience this
- Comparisons of who does more within the household/child-rearing/discipline
Regardless of WHY resentment has shown up for you within your relationship, it’s important to be aware of this emotion and actively work through this to prevent continued unmet needs and increased or unwanted conflict. Let’s talk now about HOW to feel less resentful towards your partner.
If you are feeling resentment, consider trying the following:
- Acknowledge that you are feeling resentment
- Explore this feeling and identify any unmet needs, times that have made you feel unheard, and other emotions that you also might be feeling
- Communicate with your partner very clearly what you NEED in order to start feeling less resentment (is this more acknowledgement, help with specific tasks, time for yourself, validation of your feeling, etc.)
- Follow through and actively do things for yourself, communicate your needs, and set boundaries to protect your needs and feeling to reduce future feelings of resentment
If you are feeling resentful in this phase of life, you are not alone, and you CAN start feeling better. If you need more help processing feelings of anger, hurt, or resentment, and/or could benefit from assistance learning how to communicate your needs to improve your relationship, reach out today to let Psychotherapy for Women help you get started!
