Going through a miscarriage at any stage of pregnancy is excruciating and there is nothing that will ever prepare you for the loss of your unborn child. It is a true loss of a part of you. One you thought about, dreamed about, and carried safely in your womb until the last moments of their life. It’s a loss like no other, and one so many women face. How can a woman survive the grief and suffering that comes from losing an actual part of themselves? It’s a question you may be asking yourself right now.
Grieving has no finish line. It is not a timed race, a specific destination, or a short fleeting feeling. Grief is deep. It is complex. It brings forth a wide range of emotions that come and go like the waves. It is a continual process that one goes through after loss. It is not temporary, but ongoing throughout the rest of your life. While the initial intensity of those feelings will subside as they become easier to cope with, there will always be a part of you that went through that loss, and therefore, will never completely be done grieving.
If you are currently experiencing the grief that comes with loss, you are not alone. Many women experience miscarriage at some point in their conception journey. And they too have been right where you are, learning how to navigate those intense waves while still moving through their lives. While no one’s grief is like another’s, there are some helpful ways to support yourself while you are going through this transition and transformation.
Helpful ways to support yourself while grieving can look like:
- Talking about it. This is not easy, but holding it in has been shown to not help one grieve. Your feelings are valid and real and not to be hidden.
- Gain support. You are going through a huge loss and having extra support in your corner to help you navigate this can be so impactful. Consider therapy and counseling services if you are not already connected to a trusted mental health provider.
- Find ways to remember and honor your baby. Not talking about your loss does not mean it didn’t happen. Finding ways to honor and remember your baby can be comforting and validating. This could look like having a burial, framing an ultrasound picture, or doing something special every year to celebrate their life on the day of your loss.
- Journal. Write down your thoughts daily. Consider writing a letter to your unborn baby. Purge your feelings or express yourself through other creative outlets like drawing or poetry.
- Give yourself space to feel all the emotions. Grief brings on many different emotions including anger, sadness, worry, and loneliness. Give yourself a chance to really feel all of these emotions as they come.
And above all, please understand that it’s a process. It will take time for your heart and your mind to go through a loss and figure out how to move forward. Give yourself grace when the days are hard, because there will be hard days. And while there will likely always be a part of you that is grieving, it does get easier to cope with over time.
If you are experiencing loss and this blog post resonated with you and you would like to learn about how to gain more support, reach out to us today. We are here and waiting to support you through this.
