Boundaries are an essential part of every relationship that you are in. Whether you are actively aware of boundaries or not, your relationships already have spoken and unspoken boundaries within them. This directly impacts the way relationships operate and how you are treated, as well as how you treat others.
When relationships begin to feel stressful, one-sided, and/or overwhelming, setting healthy boundaries can actually strengthen and improve that relationship overtime. I understand it can feel daunting to try and figure out how to set boundaries if this is a newer concept for you and/or you have been exposed to relationships where setting boundaries was not always welcomed. Setting good healthy boundaries is essential though and does not need to be overly complicated or complex. I’m going to give you a few helpful and proven strategies so you can get started.
Tips to use when wanting to set healthier boundaries:
- Begin by identifying what you want and need in a relationship (example: respect, understanding, safety, validation, etc.)
- Identify current relationship(s) that could benefit if there were stronger boundaries in place
- Identify how you might tell someone what you need
- Practice identifying ways you can communicate this to other people and come up with dialogue or sayings on your own to help practice verbalizing feelings and needs
- Be direct, firm, and assertive when communicating. Do not use wording that could be misunderstood or misleading. Phrases like “maybe”, “I’m not sure”, and “we will see” can be considered a “yes”, even if you feel it’s a “no” for you.
- Began practicing setting boundaries by having small conversations with people about how you feel and what you need
- Overtime, as confidence builds, reinforce healthy boundaries and be open with others about how their actions make you feel
I am confident that if you use these proven tools, you will find that some or all of the following things begin to happen:
- Feeling more respected
- Strengthening relationships with good supportive people
- Reduction of people pleasing behaviors
- More acknowledgment and validation of your own wants and needs
- Feeling more connected, seen, and heard by people in your social circle
- Reduced feelings of internal conflict and anxiety regarding how to navigate difficult moments in relationships
- More self-confidence and self-awareness
- Better communication tools
- Reduced avoidance of conflict or perceived conflict
I am confident that if you begin using the above-mentioned tools, setting boundaries will start to become easier and a natural part of your relationships. While changes do not happen overnight, it is possible to strength relationships and develop new and healthy connections by setting and maintaining good, healthy boundaries.
If you are struggling to set boundaries in one or more relationships in your life, need some additional support identifying assertive communication language, and/or need tools to help you put these skills into practice, I can help. Reach out today to learn how I help women learn healthy ways to communicate their feelings, validate their needs, and set and maintain healthy boundaries.