Your thinking habits are extremely important. How you think about things shapes how you will begin to feel about them. Our thinking habits also end up impacting our behaviors. If your thinking habits are often negative or unhealthy in some way, it’s important to recognize this and work to change these habits, for your emotional health and to improve your life as a whole.
First, I want to normalize that we are all our own worst critics and it’s very easy to minimize our successes, heavily focus on our flaws or things we don’t like, and in general just be really hard on ourselves. For many people, these thoughts are challenging but often tolerable and at times easy to disregard or ignore. For others, negative thinking habits are so intense and powerful that they actually impact daily functioning and create a slew of problems.
Having persistent negative, unwanted, and/or intrusive thoughts can negatively shape how you view yourself in the world around you and create significant strain on your mental health. It also can cause you to believe things that are not true or distort reality, hurt self-esteem, and keep you from feeling happy. It’s important to stop and listen to your thoughts to gain an understanding of your thinking habits and how they may be negatively influencing you in a variety of ways. Once you begin to understand your thinking habits, here are some helpful things you can try to change the way you think about things.
- Understand that thoughts are just that, thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. They do not always mean things are really happening in the way that you think. I can think that my life is over because I didn’t get that job promotion but is that actually true? Or am I emotionally charged and telling myself things that aren’t actually the truth? Often times, we all tell ourselves things that we either want to hear or are fueled by intense emotions that are clouding our ability to see things differently in the moment.
- Start challenging the way that you think about things. Listen to what you tell yourself and really stop and think, “Do I really believe that?” or “Is there another way to look at this?”. If you want to change you thinking habits it’s important to start questioning the way that you think about things and be open to thinking in a different way.
- Reframe negative or unhelpful thoughts. If you have a thought that you can identify is not helpful, not true, limiting you in some way, or making you feel bad, try reframing that thought. This doesn’t mean you have to turn a negative into a positive (because that may be hard to believe), but instead try reframing the statement to a more neutral thought. When done correctly, this will change how you FEEL moving forward. Here’s an example:
Initial thought: “I can’t do this. It’s pointless to try because I’m going to fail.”
Reframed thought: “I’m not feeling confident that I can do it right now but I’m still going to try.”
- Be more compassionate with yourself. If you are not giving yourself credit or telling yourself hurtful things like “I’m fat”, “I’m ugly”, or “I can’t do anything right”, you’re going to continue to think negatively. It’s important to use self-compassion and be kind to yourself. A key rule to go by is if you wouldn’t say it to your closest friend/loved one, it’s not okay to say to yourself. If you wouldn’t look at your best friend and say, “Wow, you can’t do anything right” then it shouldn’t be acceptable to say it to yourself either.
- Practice. This takes practice and time to create a new habit where healthier thinking is easier. Give yourself time and practice these tips. With time, your thoughts can change and become more positive/helpful.
Creating more positive thinking habits can improve your self-esteem, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, and enhance your mental health overall. Are you still struggling with unwanted intrusive or negative thinking? You may benefit from more support to help you understand your thinking habits and make changes. If that’s you, reach out today to learn how I can help you do just that.
