The holidays can be a time full of excitement, celebration, good food, tradition, and family. Whether this is your first Christmas as a mom, or you are no stranger to making all the holiday magic come true for your children, this time of year can be full of so many good things. But what about the stress of it all, the never ending to do lists, the obscene amount of shopping and planning and events that people expect you to take part in? Are you wondering how you’re going to get through this holiday season without losing your cool? If so, keep reading.
The stress that women, especially mothers, carry during the holiday season is intense. We are often in charge of all of the preparations, planning, decorating, cooking, cleaning, and shopping that has to take place for the holidays to happen. These extra responsibilities are of course on top of the regular list of things we as women and mothers juggle, such as taking care of children, keeping a home, maintaining other obligations, and/or working. It’s no wonder that the holiday season can also bring about increased stress levels, difficulty sleeping, and feelings of anxiety or worry. Some women even report that they actually dread the holidays for these very reasons. And then there’s the actual events to host or attend, the expectation of family to be many different places on the actual holiday, and so much more. It’s no wonder that stress for moms significantly increases during this season.
If you are a mom wondering how you are going to navigate this holiday season, remember all of the things, and get through it without losing your patience or snapping at your family, try these helpful tips:
- Set realistic expectations and know your limits: The sky is the limit when it comes to what you can do and how much you can spend during the holidays. Yet we all have our limits and it can be helpful to set some realistic expectations AHEAD OF TIME. This may look like setting a limit on how much you spend, how many places you commit to going, and what activities you can squeeze in. Being mindful of what you really WANT to do instead of what you CAN do is important.
- Ask for help: Being vocal about what you need help with this holiday season can make all the difference when it comes to your stress level. Are there tasks that are on your to-do list that others could help you out with? If so, speak up and ask your family and friends for the help you’re needing.
- Delegate where you can: In line with asking for help also comes delegating. While you as the mom may be able to carry the load at the holidays, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Could others step in and do things to help you out? Delegating responsibilities to others in your household can also help lower the stress level of the holidays.
- Keep things to a minimum: Less is more in a lot of ways when it comes to holiday gatherings and traditions. The less you have to do, the more present mentally and emotionally you may be. While it can feel good or even be expected to go big, consider keeping the following things to a minimum to help your stress level and improve your own enjoyment at the holidays: gift giving, shopping, decorations, baking and cooking, activities, and gatherings.
- Set boundaries: There can be a lot of expectations from ourselves and others at the holidays, not all of which are realistic. Setting boundaries ahead of time can make a big impact on how we spend our holidays and improve our own experiences. Think about how you feel in terms of spending, gift giving, traveling, and hosting. Are there areas where it would be helpful to set boundaries, talk to family ahead of time, or even decline participating in certain events? If so, consider verbalizing your boundaries to others.
The holidays can naturally bring about increased levels of stress, but that does not mean as moms we have to carry that high stress load and just push through. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed for everyone, not just children. I encourage you to put your feelings and boundaries into consideration this holiday season and make changes where it would be helpful so that you enjoy them alongside your families. A present and happy mom at the holidays is much better than an overwhelmed and stressed out one.
